Yesterday I saw Sam perform the lead role at the Royal Shakespeare Theatre. As it’s one of the most important theatre venues in England, it seems like a bit of a dream still really. I was incredibly, unbelievably proud. And thought he looked extremely handsome, of course!
(Sorry, not sorry, if I’m embarrassing him right now.)
Sam’s doing what any stage actor in the world dreams of doing really- do I feel jealous of his amazing opportunity? Well, I wish I got more work, that’s for sure! But how could I be jealous of him working here?! (Also, as a side note: actors are portrayed as really cut-throat and competitive, especially on American TV. But here’s the thing, none of my friends and I are in the same casting “bracket” so it’s easy not to be jealous when someone gets a job- you didn’t deserve to be put up for it because it wasn’t right for you in the first place.)
It’s interesting because I think as actors, we have a greater opportunity than most couples to express being proud of the other’s accomplishments. It’s much easier to sit in an audience with flowers, filled with love, than it is to let your partner know that they fact that they are doing a great job in the classroom, or filed that last account brilliantly. But no matter what the career path, I think it’s of the upmost importance that you believe in each other and let your partner know that you think they did an amazing job at something.
But here’s the thing: he makes me proud every day- huge job or not. I love his kindness, his creativity, his exuberance, his caring, his work-ethic (just to name a few).
I firmly believe that if you believe the best of your partner, they will have more confidence to be the best! Because an important aspect of love and relationships is knowing that the other person is proud of you just for trying. For making small sacrifices on a daily basis. For taking small initiatives and risks on a daily basis.
It becomes difficult to show someone that you care and respect what they do every day without becoming blase about it. I realised once that even though I was extremely proud of Sam, that I hadn’t let him know that in awhile! It was then I realised that I needed to work harder to not take even small accomplishments for granted.
1. Tell them! Say the words “I am proud of you.” It might even feel cheesy to say, but who cares?
2. Brag about them to others. Not gloat, of course, but everyone feels encouraged when they know that someone else is expressing delight in their actions outside a private relationship.
3. Be interested. This sounds like a no brainer, but maybe your partner’s work really doesn’t interest you. That’s not a carte blanche to not care!
4. Cheer them on. Everyone needs a cheerleader sometimes!
5. Do little things to make them feel cared for. I like leaving Sam notes (super cheesy, right?) But you never know how just making dinner for the other person when they are under pressure with work will be appreciated!
