Lifestyle

You Got Here How? (Part 2)

Back in July, I wrote a post called “You Got Here How” chronicling my favourite ways that people have found my blog through Google search. There were some pretty good ones on that list, so I decided to do a Round 2, only counting the searches that are marked in my Google Analytics account since the last post.

Here’s a countdown of my favourite ways people have found my blog over the past few months:

Amanda's google analytics

10 . Actually wore tights under
Actually wore tights under….what? This search is so myseterious. What could I have been wearing tights under? What did this searcher want to wear tights under? No one will ever know.

9. Awkward senior pictures
I’ve blogged about old school photos before. You can see a post of them here. But my senior photos were actually alright. I was a bit of an ugly duckling at school.

8. Colonel sanders granddaughters
I wish searcher, I wish. First of all, I love fried chicken. Second of all, I’d move some KFC inheritance money. But I can’t help you further than that.

7. Dinosaur with ribbons
No dinosaurs with ribbons here. But I did blog about how in London, Sam and I lived next to a dinosaur park.

6. Do guys actually use outdoor pissoirs
You actually can find an answer to this on my blog and the answer is yes! I found it out firsthand when I visited Amsterdam.

5. How do you know if you are actually in a relationship with an Englishman
My answer to your query would be just to ask him. But I’m glad that my blog was sought out for this advice.

4. Little girls wear tuxedos all the time
I literally have no idea where this comes from or why this would have led to Rhyme & Ribbons. That being said, I’d love to live in an alternate universe where kids wore tuxedos to school. That seems hilarious to me.

3. Miss piggy costume
I can’t help you out with a costume, but as a child I resembled Miss Piggy.

2. One eye looks smaller than the other
I do have one eye smaller than the other. Thanks for reminding me.

1. Preteen nipples
I can’t help you. One, I’m not a preteen. Two, you will never see my nipples on the internet so…… wrong website?

Go look at your analytics now! Anything hilarious, strange or creepy to report?

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  • I also want to know about this tights business, I am wearing some right now under my dress but that is normal right?

    • Hahah right? I have occasionally worn them under jeans as an extra layer too, when it is super cold. x

  • Karly Kim

    Preteen nipples. You caught me.

  • I’m slightly jealous at how hilarious the searches to your blog are.

    I really want to know how a lot of them led people to your blog. Seriously, please be related to Colonel Sanders so you can tell me the secret to the recipe and teach me to make KFC in a way that isn’t super greasy and leaves my stomach in knots after eating it. Please?

    • There’s no way to avoid KFC tummy. It’s the body’s only defense. Otherwise you’d want to eat it every other day and you’d probably have a heart attack approximately tomorrow. x

  • I’ve done an entire series on this by screenshotting a week’s worth of keywords. The weirdest phrases are the people looking for porn. The ones that make me happiest are virgins nervous about their first pelvic exam (happiest because I wrote an extensive post that should help them). The ones that I really really hope result in learning are the people asking if a virgin can have big boobs. Um, your sex life has nothing to do with your body shape, okay?

    • Ah, it’s kind of lovely that you wrote a post that girls who are genuinely scared about having pelvic exams have stumbled across! Maybe one person thought that if you had big boobs there was no way that you could be a virgin. Then they found your blog and it changed their life because they realised how stupid that idea was. On the other hand, if sex increased your bust size by one cup, I’d be pretty okay with that. I made the switch to disqus because I was getting LOADS of spam (ads, porn, etc) out of nowhere all the sudden so if I hadn’t down that I loathe to think what my new keywords would be. x

  • I like Col. Sander’s granddaughter.. and then I went to the link where you say you look like Miss Piggy and I saw the picture where you captioned yourself as Col. Sander’s granddaughter. Ohhh, so great. I also loved your ‘evil genius’ pose.. I wish I could hear your toddler evil genius laugh.
    I tried once to figure out how to get my keywords, through google analytics but it was too confusing for me at the time. I’m going to try again, because I think it would be so funny to see what the hell my blog brings up over the years!

    • Give it another go! At first when I looked at analytics I just got headaches and was reminded of high school statistics classes. Now that I actually understand it slightly better it’s pretty cool. Someone wrote a super helpful post about it not too long ago, but the author is completely escaping me right now. I’ll link it to you if I end up remembering who it was! x

  • This is an overall great list, but #4 and #8 are particularly hilarious. The mental image of kids in tuxedos is just too funny and cute for my brain to handle.

  • Amy @ the tide that left

    The last one is so unnerving. I just checked my own list thinking it would be boring, but instead I found ‘Luanda sex’ and ‘girls in recovery’. Wow!

    • That is really weird. And I can’t think of a reason why that would be associated with you… x

  • This is a great idea!! So funny….and also disturbing in equal measures!
    Incidentally, I could kind have been col. sander’s uk niece…i know it sounds far fetched but an ‘uncle’ of mine (really just a friend of my parents) was offered the UK franchise rights to said fried chicken restaurant back in the 70’s. He turned it down…he must still be kicking himself now!
    off to see my GA’s! πŸ™‚

    • Gah! I’d definitely be kicking myself if I were him!!! In my mind I’ll always think of you as Col Sander’s niece from now on, okay? πŸ˜‰ x

  • Haha I love these posts. They are the best!