Lifestyle Wedding

Wedding Insecurities: Maybe I’m not a Glowing Bride?

The one aspect of the wedding that Sam and I prioritised was the budget for the photographer. Photography is important to the both of us as is having photos that we love of the day. Having photos of the day is especially important to me because it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity for American and English family and friends to be intermingling. As much as I’d like to go back to America more often, it’s financially impossible so the fact that so many family and friends are making the journey across the pond brings me to tears. 

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But there’s one aspect of our wedding photos that I’m less than enthusiastic about: and that’s myself. It might seem hypocritical to say that I’m dreading having so many photos taken of myself, when I put photos up on this space all the time. But when I’m the one taking the photo (or directing it) I can make sure that there’s at least several that I’m content with. That I’m not hypercritical of. Here’s the truth of this space: for every 1 photo that you see of me there are probably 5 that I’ve deleted because I look like a swamp creature. 

I’m so excited to see my bridesmaids in they finery on the day and I can’t wait to see the nieces and nephews in their outfits. I know that I’ll cry when I see Sam all dressed up at the end of the aisle. I’m hugely looking forward to showing up at the village hall on Friday and decorating it just exactly the way we want. I think everything will be glorious in photos. Except there’s this tiny voice in the back of my head that says the one thing that might ruin everything is me. Things that I’ve worried will show in photos: my permanent dark circles (genetic and not related to any amount of sleep); the fact that I have terrifying Slender Man hands; that my face sometimes bloats; that I have mild bingo wings; that I have terrible split ends for being adventurous with my hair; that my teeth are so tiny that my gums always show when I smile; that I’ll develop a Rudolph zit on the tip of my nose; that I’ll become stumpy overnight.  

I had my final dress fitting on Monday and I panicked that I looked dreadful. (Side note – I bruise like a peach and it turns out that nothing highlights that more than a white dress on an extremely pale person.) Then I went to work, hung out with one of my bridesmaids who’s already here and ate french fries and wine for dinner. In the words of Taylor Swift, I shook it off. Here’s the thing: the more time I spend feeling excited about the day, the less that all those worries matter. I’m so grateful for all the friends and family who are traveling to be with us next Saturday. It makes me feel so loved and utterly happy. And  you know what? Maybe it’s not the done thing to say, but: that makes me feel beautiful. 

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  • Every single bride feels this way – it’s just pre-wedding nerves. You are going to be beautiful.
    Maybe you should organise for a unicorn to parade around & photobomb instead!?

  • TravelWithNanoB

    Hey girl, you ARE beautiful! Lesson learned from my wedding were: 1. the day goes super fast so make sure to savor every second of it, and PLEASE don’t waste these previous moments worrying about silly things. 2. I’m sure you will have fabulous make-up which will cover everything you want to cover up and your photographer will make sure to bring out the best out in you on the photos! I had three photographers, that’s how important it was for me to capture every moment during that day. I’d also recommend browsing and pinning some of your favorite portrait photos on Pinterest and showing it to your photographer to make sure s/he knows what your expectations are. I know you know all this already, though. It will be a gorgeous day and you will be a stunning bride! šŸ™‚ xoxo, nano

    • Luckily, since Sam is a photographer has is extremely picky with photos and photographers and I’ve kind of left all that planning and lists and expectations in his hands. Picking our photographer was one of the most important things we did for that reason, and I am so incredibly confident with ours (just not so much in myself). x

  • You will be SO gorgeous, and remember that a photographer will take thousands of photos, so much like when you take them yourself, there will be plenty of room for you to discard the ones you’re not 100% happy with! šŸ™‚ Alice xx

    • This is very, very true. I can always make sure any particularly bad ones never see the light of day! x

  • Angie SilverSpoon

    You will look beautiful and I bet you won’t even think about it. My favourite photos are the candid ones where people’s emotions are captured and they don’t even realise the camera is on them.

  • I can say with all honesty and confidence that you will look B-E-A-U-tiful in the flesh and in your photos. I think feeling this way is totally natural though – it really doesn’t help when so much of the wedding industry propaganda is geared towards the whole “glowing bride” shpiel, does it?! x
    Sophie Cliff

    • Yes! The glowing bride thing can be really overwhelming. I might be glowing due to the fact that I am 100% pale without an ounce of summer tan in sight šŸ˜‰ xx

  • You will be absolutely stunning. I know this because you will be happy, happy, happy and that will shine through in all the photos. Also, you just generally look beautiful anyway so you will definitely look even more amazing in a wedding dress!

  • Kourtney Reece

    I’ve been going through your blog and I am in awe. I love it so much. Congrats on your upcoming wedding. I know you’ll be beautiful. I’m sure every bride goes through this. It’s going to be an amazing day ā™„

  • Hopefully your day is so wonderful that you don’t even think about this for a single second! But I totally understand you – I’m not getting married anytime soon but when I think about it (mostly when I see other people’s wedding photos) that is the one thing that makes me anxious. I have a pretty expressive face and that gives for terrible photos lol. But i don’t fear you’ll have lovely photos! And usually they take like a million photos right? And you can pick? šŸ™‚ xx

    • Haha, I have a really expressive face too, so in candid photos it can look really really wacky! And you’re right, there will be so many to chose from that i can make sure that any that I particularly hate never see the light of day šŸ˜‰ xx

  • thegrownupgapyear.wordpress

    This was one of the things I worried about before my wedding too, as I usually take horrible candid photos! But honestly on the day itself you will be so happy that it will totally shine through. I was so happy with my photos as they really captured the joy of the day. (And, as someone else said, you can always veto any you aren’t happy with!) Enjoy the final build up to the big day x

    • All very good points! And I think your wedding looked gorgeous and you looked incredibly beautiful. (I loved your vintage look!) x

  • I bruise like nobody’s business so I totally understand you on that. And less you worry about the day, the more fun you’ll have!! I’m sure the photographer is going to do your day justice <3

  • Alfredo Ciano

    Fab Post !!!

  • You are my favourite swamp creature and there’s no way you won’t be stunning xx

    • Thanks Frankie! As long as I’m someone’s favourite swamp creature that’s all that matters! x

  • You are going to be a beautiful bride <3 xx