Lifestyle Wedding

Advice to Future Brides

Now that the wedding is over two weeks behind me, I’m still looking back at it constantly. On that 1 week wedding anniversary, Sam and I kept looking at each other and saying “last week at this time we were dancing” or “this is the time that our ceremony started”. Usually in this space, I love to fight pre-concevied notions. In the past, I’ve mentioned that I hate the way that wedding dress shopping is made out to be this delightful montage of giggles, champagne and gorgeous dresses: it isn’t.  So I fully expected the notion that the wedding is the happiest day of my life to ring false as well. Which isn’t to say that I wasn’t overjoyed at the thought of marrying Sam. I was. But I also was realistic in my expectations that there were definitely going to be things that go wrong on the day, I might be super stressed, etc rendering it a great, memorable, highly important day – but maybe not the best day of my life. 

Now that it’s come and gone, I can say that the 23rd of July, 2016 was the best day of my life so far. It was truly wonderful. Did things go wrong? Of course they did. But I was in such a happy bubble that I didn’t even notice. There isn’t a thing that I would have changed about our day. 

A&S-2

So my advice to other brides: 

When people say the day goes by quickly, they really aren’t exaggerating. I know it’s an extremely long day, but for me everything just flew by. It seemed like we were hardly there at all. The day is a whirl of love and happiness and trying to talk to everyone is impossible. I started to feel guilty that there were some people that I barely spoke to; my favourite Aunt, for example, but it isn’t for lack of caring. You have to banish all of those guilty feelings to make the most of the day. 

Definitely have a moment when it’s just the two of you to take everything in. Our photographer was a magician; he whisked Sam and I away to do some couple shots just when we were thinking that we needed some time together just to hold hands and be. It doesn’t have to be a long period of time, but just to have a few minutes where you can giggle and put your heads together alone really helps ground the day. 

Things will not go to plan, and you just have to laugh it off. The biggest thing I was worried about was the weather. We were doing the ceremony outside (no marquee) and didn’t have a back up plan really. Luckily, the weather stayed dry and the big crises were averted. Smaller things didn’t go to plan and I can absolutely laugh at them. I was so rushed in the morning, in a happy ball of energy amongst all my girls, laughing and taking photos, that I never actually looked in the mirror to check my makeup/hair/dress before we left. For a very similar reason, the special perfume that I set aside to put on for my wedding day (and then to wear again at future special occasions): totally forgotten. It wasn’t until I was in the car, halfway there that I realised I’d no perfume and no deodorant on. There was this amazing post-ceremony moment where Sam and I hid in a utility closet in the village hall and he spritzed me with his cologne. Was it my pinterest perfect moment? No, but it was infinitely more “us”. 

There will be a wedding come down. A few days after, I was still awash in newlywed happiness, but I was sad that I’d never get to live through our wedding day again. It was a sign of its perfection that I was sad that it had come and gone. This is especially true for expat weddings. The post-wedding blues are an oft-talked about thing, but as an expat they hit particularly hard. Not only are you letting go of wedding planning and the big day, but you spend the week afterwards constantly saying goodbye to all your nearest and dearest. My mom, brother and best friends were the last people to go home and I was an absolute mess after I’d taken them to Heathrow. A snotty ball of tears in his bed, is probably not how Sam expected his new bride to look. I was mourning the fact that I had to say goodbye to so many people that I love, that I very rarely get to see, and try to deal with the (very real) realisation that our wedding was probably the last and only time that both sides of our family and friends will all be together. It was really hard, but what got me through it was thinking about all the amazing memories that I have of them here in England in the lead up to the wedding, the day itself, and after the wedding. 

How did  you handle (or plan on handling) the post-wedding come down? 

Check out Top Tips For Fighting the Post-Wedding Blues

 

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  • Aww it just sounds like you had the loveliest day. I can imagine the come down can be tough!

  • TravelWithNanoB

    Amanda, you couldn’t have summarized all my post-wedding thoughts better than this. The day truly flew by so fast I could hardly notice and even though we only had 85 guests we still didn’t have time to talk to everyone. Despite all the minor details that didn’t go the way we had planned it was the happiest day in our lives, and having all our loved ones in one place, laughing and having fun made the day so much more special. One thing I particularly agree with, though, is the post-wedding blues. Every time I pass by the hotel where my family and friends stayed in Florida I have a lump in my throat because I keep thinking they will come out any minute! Anyway, I can’t wait to see more of your wedding photos, a few you shared are so beautiful. xoxo, nano | http://www.travelwithnanob.com

    • YES! After I took my family to the airport, I partially expected them to still be at the flat later that evening. I missed them so much, but I’ll always have the best experience now to remember them by! xx

  • Your wedding photos fill me with so much joy already, and there are only a few so far! I can’t believe that it’s been over 2 weeks already! Must be odd afterwards to be without a to-do list of things to plan and realising that life just carries on as normal afterwards…!! Alice xxx

    http://www.woodenwindowsills.co.uk

    • It’s totally odd. I almost feel like I have too much free time now, because I don’t have constant to-do lists running in the background of my mind! x

  • I am going to admit something a bit embarrassing but this past June when our town was having its big graduation day for the high school I cried. It was that let down realizing I have already had my graduations and wedding and from now one there are no parties to look forward to all about me and a special dress. I know life has many many great moments in the future but like you said it can be such a let down after!

    • Oh totally! I was so bummed that I’ll never get to wear my dress again! Luckily it’s still at Sam’s family’s house up North, otherwise I’d probably be sitting around in it every evening…. x

  • Yes to the private moment! We did that and I will always cherish the memory!

    • So important! We weren’t doing a first look so it was nice having something private 🙂 xx

  • Brides should remember to pee. I know someone who gave herself a UTI by forgetting to pee all day long…

  • and don’t forget to have fun!don’t be too bothered whether other people are enjoying themselves:)

  • I think the comedown would be so tough, especially as an expat that has all their friends and family in the same place finally, I would be sad for that to end for sure.

    • It was just the saying goodbye to people that I had finally managed to get together in England, less so than the “I have nothing to plan now” come down. But it’s amazing that I now have images of my bestie in Northern England. Surreal! x

  • So true about the comedown. As soon as I was back in my room at home and everything was said and done the next day, I just had a good cry. Just sooooo emotional after a weekend like that!

    • Yes- that’s it exactly! There are just so many feels for one day that you have to have more time to get them all out! x

  • When you have a wedding, a honeymoon, and three wedding receptions, after just a five-month engagement, there’s not really a post-wedding comedown.

    However, when you have Crohn’s Disease, and you’ve been under a lot of stress even while trying to make choices to minimize stress, you will spend your wedding afternoon with terrible diarrhea and stomach pain. Yay! But at least I successfully got through the wedding, pictures, brunch, and wedding day coitus before getting sick.

  • Ala

    I love that you both hid in a closet and he spritzed you with his cologne! A million heart eye emojis – you two are the best and I love this post, it makes me so excited xxxx

  • Sarah Elizabeth

    Awwww Amanda, you’re the cutest! I can’t believe your wedding has come and gone (sorry, I’ve been more than a little AWOl the last few months!). So huge hugs and congratulations.

    That you snuck into a closet to wear his cologne is my favorite thing ever.

    And I love that your whole family and his whole family and all of your friends could fly over for the wedding x That is truly amazing and wonderful and I know exactly what you mean xxxx Lots of love, (SedivaAbroad) x

    • Thank you so so so much for your kind words! And I’m glad that you appreciated the cologne “incident”. I felt like a bit of a wally but so be it! 😉 It was hilarious at the time and is a weirdly nice bonding moment to look back on now. xx

      • Sarah Elizabeth

        Hahaha definitely! xx